PeopleStripes.org - Helping families make the most of personality differences.

Helping families make the most of personality differences.

Articles


PeopleStripes.org article
Read More - PeopleStripes.org article

Good Mom or Bad Mom?

In my 30th year, I became a mother for the first time. All I really had to go on was how I was raised by my mother and observing friends who took the plunge before me.



PeopleStripes.org article
Read More - PeopleStripes.org article

Time Out – Discipline or Reward?

Why is it that some discipline tactics are punishment for some, but a reward for others? We are all different. Understanding and appreciating those differences can be a helpful guide in how we choose to parent our child and the efficiency in doing so.



Lesson in Self-Management
Read More - Lesson in Self-Management

A Bike, a Trash Can, and a Lesson in Self-Management

A father was taking his young daughter on a ride using her brand-new bike with training wheels. I watched the little girl riding on the sidewalk. The father was running ahead moving any trashcan that was in the way or little twigs that might be a bump for her. Basically, he was doing his best to make it a perfectly fine path for the child to ride.



It's Their Homework Not Yours
Read More - It's Their Homework Not Yours

It's Their Homework Not Yours – How to Help Without Taking Over the Work

Have you endured the experience of supervising, snoopervising, and actually doing your child’s homework? I believe every parent wants the child to do the work independently but for some that habit does not seem to develop naturally. Some parents monitor every step of their child’s work, and the child learns to manipulate the system until the parent is doing more work than the child.



It’s Your Turn to do the Dishes
Read More - It’s Your Turn to do the Dishes

It’s Your Turn to do the Dishes

When two siblings have the same family chore to do at different times it is easy to observe how each person approaches the task in different ways. Our family’s task of doing dishes came with a dilemma.

My daughter (10) had a preference for “getting the job done.” She would go to the kitchen and clean everything as quickly as possible so she could have more time for play. My son (8) would see this as a moment to play while getting the job done.



PeopleStripes.org article
Read More - PeopleStripes.org article

The Challenge to Win Fairly and Lose Friendly

All children in elementary schools have to learn how to “win fairly and lose friendly.” The task is harder for some children than it is for others. To learn the lesson, beginning in preschool, there should be moments for winning and moments for losing. When teachers try to create an environment where “everyone wins,” children lose the opportunity to learn this skill.



Setting Limits and Respecting Choices
Read More - Setting Limits and Respecting Choices

The Bungee Cord Between Setting Limits and Respecting Choices with Middle School Tweens

Parents of children in middle school can feel they are caught by a bungee cord that whips them between giving their child independence and being fearful that the child is not ready to make decisions. Children this age are trying to establish their values as separate from the family, while at the same time loving the family and wanting to be part of that value system. Both parent and child experience the push and pull of this time period.



PeopleStripes.org article
Read More - PeopleStripes.org article

Persuasion Does Not Work for All Children

Usually children approach school and authority figures from two different perspectives. One is a ?teacher pleaser.? They want the teacher to like them so they will more frequently do whatever the teacher asks in order to be in the teacher?s favor. The second style is a ?rule follower.? If there is a rule (a reasonable and good rule), this child is willing to comply. The first kind of child responds positively to persuasion from a teacher. The second does not. For the second child, persuasion merely suggests there are two choices.



siblings
Read More - siblings

Siblings: Tender vs Tough

To me, empathy for others is an innate and integral part of who I am. So when I noticed a lack of empathy towards others in my 3rd child, my heart sank.

With her siblings and with friends on the playground, she would come across as cold and uncaring. It wasn?t like she was mean or cruel, she just seemed removed from the situation. If someone got hurt, or was in a scuffle with another child, she could simply state a rational, logical explanation as to what happened, while others were crying and dramatically telling the story as it best fit their desired outcome.



Different Views of Decision Making
Read More - Different Views of Decision Making

Different Views of Decision Making

Last summer we moved from Virginia to Texas, leaving behind our college-aged daughter who was about to enter her sophomore year. It was a tough year for us both. She was homesick and I missed her dearly.

Over her December break, she started thinking about transferring schools so that she could move closer to us. Although this is what I had been hoping for, I knew this needed to be her decision. I could listen, I could lend support, and perhaps even encouraging words, but all in all, she needed to be the one to decide.



Parenting in a Crisis
Read More - Parenting in a Crisis

Parenting in a Crisis: Who Do You Want Around?

When it comes to a crisis, especially one involving physical injury, you do not want me around! Several experiences come to mind in regard to my own children and let me be the first to say, I’m not too proud of these moments.

I like a well-planned out life. However, accidents typically do not happen on a schedule! I have a preference for Judging, and planning every moment of everyday makes me happy!



End of school...please!
Read More - End of school...please!

End of School, End of Report Period, End of Patience

There is nothing I hate worse than seeing potential wasted. Getting that dreaded email or phone call from an exasperated teacher certainly does not help the situation.

Our school district has an online Parent Portal where parents can log in and monitor their child’s grades throughout the year. Now with five children this can become a full-time job in and of itself, so thankfully over the years there has not been a big need in my family to utilize this site, except with one child in particular.



PeopleStripes.org article
Read More - PeopleStripes.org article

School Morning Routines… or Not

As a parent, I am sure you will relate well to this one! School mornings … chaos! Everyone has somewhere they need to be, each with their own schedule and arrival times. Our society does not function on going at your own pace or getting there when you get there.

You would think that those who typically get up late and run out at the last minute would be the most stressed, but not in our house! Those are the kids who seem most chill about throwing on their clothes, probably yesterday’s clothes, popping a mint, and putting their hair up in a messy ponytail.



PeopleStripes.org article
Read More - PeopleStripes.org article

Monday Selfies: Telling Children They are Wonderful without Teaching Them How to Become Wonderful is Unfair

We tell children so often that they are wonderful just being who they are but they don?t always feel wonderful. Many worry greatly about how others perceive them and do not have a sense of what others see.

Some children focus only on their flaws. Others notice only their strengths. Development means we all have moments when our way is a perfect match for the situation. Then there are the times when our way does not work well for the task at hand and we must accommodate.



Choices
Read More - Choices

Using Choices to Increase Individuality

Teachers and parents often agree that individuality should be encouraged in the home and in the classroom, but sometimes we hear comments from teachers that sound like this: "How am I supposed to do that when there are more than 30 students in the class?"



PeopleStripes.org article
Read More - PeopleStripes.org article

“My Teacher Hates Me! I Hate My Teacher!” – The Joys of a New School Year



Learning Styles
Read More - Learning Styles

Learning Styles – Meeting the Needs of the Student



Compliance and development
Read More - Compliance and development

The Delicate Balance Between Compliance and Development



PeopleStripes.org article
Read More - PeopleStripes.org article

How was Your School Day? From No Response to an Overabundance of Details

Kids spend a great deal of time away from us during the day, either through day care or school, depending upon age and parents' schedules. So, what goes on during this time? If you are like me, one of the first things I ask the kids when they come home is, "How was your day?"



PeopleStripes.org article
Read More - PeopleStripes.org article

What’s Your POS (Parent Operating System)? And Where Does it Come From?

A major challenge for some parents is learning how to support your children without forgetting about yourself. I developed habits and policies – my Parent Operating System – through experience and reflection. A foundational piece came after one “my project is due tomorrow” event.



PeopleStripes.org article
Read More - PeopleStripes.org article

Help or Hire?

Children love when we wait on them hand and foot. Who doesn't? Sometimes, without meaning to, we inadvertently encourage children to feign helplessness because we rush to help too soon. Here is a suggested strategy that works well for those occasions.