_thumb.png "Understanding one's own personality type can enhance one's daily gratitude process.")
_thumb.png "Understanding personality type differences can help turn holiday chaos into holiday cheer")
_thumb.png "Type is not meant to box you in; it is designed to help us understand ourselves and others better.")
Young people who prefer Judging enjoy play and spontaneity so long as these activities do not distract them from finishing a task they are working to complete. They tend to hurry to finish homework right away not because they are more "responsible" but because they cannot relax and enjoy the play if there is work to be done. They say, "I do my homework right away so I can have more time to play."
Give CHOICES, CHOICES, CHOICES. Every time a child makes an independent choice, they choose a way to process the options and make a selection. This action allows for type exploration and type development. Even infants and toddlers can make choices. With toddlers, instead of the command, "Sit here" say, "Which chair would you like to use?" We may not know the basis for the choice but reaching a decision would require taking in information and making a choice, resulting in personal development.
Sometimes preteens, with a preference for Extraversion, say things first, before they think it through and then may feel they have to stand by what was said. The strategy of "second chance" allows an alternative. When a student said something that might be considered rude, I would say, "Second chance. Do you want to say that another way?" So often they would. If a child just wanted to be rude, they would say a second rude comment. When that happens then you know it is not Extraversion but is rudeness and you can give an appropriate consequence.
Use the "5-Minute Warning" to let a child know when closure to their task is imminent. "In five minutes, we will need to leave." Warning of the change in an activity is respectful to both the Judging (J) and Perceiving (P) preference. Those who prefer J are typically early starting and like to know what is coming next so they can formulate a plan. People who prefer P are often pressure-prompted and like to keep their options open, so advance notice reminds them to complete the task at hand. Time management for a J preference means following a schedule and reaching closure quickly, whereas, with a P preference, keeping options open until the last moment is optimal, producing their best work in those final minutes.
Those with a Thinking preference tend to hear the word "feel" as an emotion. Those with a Feeling preference hear that word as a decision, a choice. So, when I work with young children, I try to use a pair of words. Instead of saying "How do you feel about that?" I say, "What do you think or feel about that?" Children who prefer Thinking can latch onto the "think" word and children with a Feeling preference can latch onto the word "feel."
