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Type Tips from the Experts

5-Minute Warning: Type Tip #17

Use the "5-Minute Warning" to let a child know when closure to their task is imminent. "In five minutes, we will need to leave." Warning of the change in an activity is respectful to both the Judging (J) and Perceiving (P) preference. Those who prefer J are typically early starting and like to know what is coming next so they can formulate a plan. People who prefer P are often pressure-prompted and like to keep their options open, so advance notice reminds them to complete the task at hand. Time management for a J preference means following a schedule and reaching closure quickly, whereas, with a P preference, keeping options open until the last moment is optimal, producing their best work in those final minutes. 

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Thinking/Feeling - Both Decision Words: Type Tip #16

Those with a Thinking preference tend to hear the word "feel" as an emotion. Those with a Feeling preference hear that word as a decision, a choice. So, when I work with young children, I try to use a pair of words. Instead of saying "How do you feel about that?" I say, "What do you think or feel about that?" Children who prefer Thinking can latch onto the "think" word and children with a Feeling preference can latch onto the word "feel."


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Word Choice Matters: Type Tip #15

Frame your question with the mental process (Sensing, Intuition, Thinking, Feeling) you want them to use. Your choice of words influences which process is used in the response: "Find the flaw..." (Thinking), "Help me explore other possibilities..." (Intuition), "What do we already know?" (Sensing), and "What makes this important?" (Feeling). 

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Feeling and Feedback: Type Tip #14

Young children with a Feeling preference may interpret a lack of feedback as being undervalued or disliked. It is not an issue of ego or self-esteem. Since the Feeling preference is typically about doing something for someone, they need assurance that what they did met the need. Parents with a Thinking preference may underestimate the importance of feedback to a child who prefers Feeling.

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Motivation and Type Behavior: Type Tip #13

When you are estimating a child's type preference don't just focus on the outer behavior but also look for the motivation for that behavior. An elementary school-aged child, who prefers FP (Feeling with Perceiving), can look and act as if they prefer J (Judging) if the child thinks that will please the parent or the teacher. For a child who prefers Introversion, their motivator is internal. We do not see it. So, a child who prefers INFP is motivated internally using F (Feeling), but we see N (iNtuition) which they use in their outer world through brainstorming with others, so they may appear to prefer Extraversion, even though their overall preference is for Introversion. 

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