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girl in glasses with an I get it expression doing schoolwork at home in her pajamas

I am not stupid, after all! (From the Kids)

Sep 02, 2021
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, PhD, is the Senior Development Associate at Myers & Briggs Foundation (M&BF®), the publisher for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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Yvonne Nelson-Reid is a master practitioner for the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI®) instrument and a practitioner for the MMTIC® (Murphy-Meisgeier Type Indicator for Children®) assessment, who has been helping individuals, families, and children understand themselves better for over 25 years. In this series, From the Kids, Yvonne is dipping into her long history to share stories about the impact of type on the kids who take the MMTIC assessment from the perspective of the kids themselves.

My own children have grown up in a home where understanding personality type plays a big role in our day-to-day interactions. They have often mentioned how knowing their personality types and how they differ from each other has helped them deal with conflict, misunderstandings, and supporting one another. I have witnessed many of these occasions and it warms my heart to see them work through these situations with care, kindness, and an understanding and appreciation of our differences. What has been truly eye opening is when they take this knowledge and apply it outside of our home.

One of my daughters was struggling with her history class at the beginning of the pandemic when she switched from in-person to virtual learning. The assignments were self-directed with open-ended questions, many of which seemed confusing to her. She would spend four or more hours a night working on them. I finally sat down with her to see why it was taking her so long to complete the assignments. She prefers ESFJ (Extraversion, Sensing, Feeling, Judging). For her, clear instructions with step-by-step directions in a sequential order really help her with schoolwork. With the open-ended, vague questions, she found herself flustered not knowing exactly how to answer, so she would write everything she knew about the topic for each question, often with detailed, long responses just to make sure she did not miss anything.

No wonder it was taking her forever! With a preference for Sensing, details and facts, along with clear instructions, matter to her; in contrast, people who prefer Intuition tend to focus on connections, themes, and patterns. Finding details and too much instruction to be limiting, one with a preference for Intuition would rather be offered a framework to encourage imaginative and theoretical responses. With a Sensing preference, concrete information is appreciated, whereas with an Intuition preference, it is all about abstract concepts that allow freedom, imagination, and possibilities. Both styles are important when taking in information. 

Once my daughter figured out that her teacher likely has a preference for Intuition - assessed through the teacher's tendency to write questions that provide a big picture viewpoint rather than a detailed explanation - which was different from hers, she could put together a plan on how to work within this framework. Feeling relieved, she said, "I am not stupid after all!" It was heartbreaking to hear that all along she thought she was not smart enough to do the work, when, in fact, it had to do with her learning style, not intelligence. Sadly, as a personality type practitioner, I hear this too often. People tend to make inaccurate assumptions about themselves when faced with a problem to solve that requires them to go outside of their natural personality type.

We can all use our opposite preferences when a situation requires it, however, it might feel awkward or uncomfortable, and we may be less effective in how we use them, leading to stress and a sense of personal failure. Children may experience this at a higher rate, since, developmentally, the goal of the first half of life is to develop the two middle letters of our personality type code, to feel comfortable and competent with the use of our information gathering and decision-making preferences. Over the life span, with good type development, we begin to feel more comfortable with the use of our opposite preferences, although likely we will never feel fully competent in their use.

Regarding my daughter's situation with her history class, knowing this was likely a personality type issue in relation to learning styles, I was curious as to how my daughter, a child who has grown up in a home where type language is used often, viewed the situation. Before I shared my insights, she blurted out, "I get it, mom! I prefer Sensing and I bet my teacher has a preference for Intuition!" It was one of those wonderful "aha" moments. I suggested that we set up a Zoom meeting with her teacher so that she could talk to her about how she naturally learns. The teacher was supportive and eager to help our daughter succeed. Keep in mind, the point here is not about changing curriculum to only teach in the style my daughter learns, but to help my daughter recognize and utilize her gifts, along with recognizing and acknowledging where she may face challenges. In the end, she aced the course, but more than that, she realized how she learns and was able to share that with the teacher so that a compromise could be reached where she was able to utilize her strengths (Sensing) and ask for help with her stretches (Intuition)!

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Also In This Series



Families of differing type preferences supporting each other during a transition

How Type Can Impact Responses to Change (From the Kids)

Jul 06, 2021
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, PhD, is the Senior Development Associate at Myers & Briggs Foundation (M&BF®), the publisher for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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In this first article, of the series "From the Kids", Yvonne Nelson-Reid is dipping into her long history to share stories about the impact of type, on the kids who take the MMTIC assessment, from the perspective of the kids themselves.

READ MORE >>





Teenagers navigating the complications of high school dating

He’s So Cute! Now What? (From the Kids)

Nov 03, 2021
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, PhD, is the Senior Development Associate at Myers & Briggs Foundation (M&BF®), the publisher for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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Starting with an understanding of communication styles can make a difference in all our relationships.

In this third article of "From the Kids" Series, Yvonne Nelson-Reid discusses how understanding type differences can help teenagers navigate the complications of high school dating. Her teenage daughter describes the positive impact that learning about, and appreciating, communication style differences based on personality type, had on her own relationship.

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PeopleStripes.org article

Trick or Treat : How Important are Holiday Traditions? (From the Kids)

Oct 04, 2022
Gracyn Nelson-Reid
GRACYN NELSON-REID is a senior at the University of Texas San Antonio. She is majoring in Biology and plans to attend graduate school in the field of Microbiology research. Gracyn has been immersed in personality type theory from the time she was born! Her mom is a certified MBTI® and MMTIC® professional who introduced type theory and type language to her children to help them understand and appreciate differences.
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We are excited to add a new article to our From the Kids series, because this time it is written by a kid! Please welcome Gracyn Nelson-Reid, a junior in university, who grew up in a home where personality type differences were understood and appreciated. She shares the value of family traditions during holidays and special events, like Halloween, as it relates to her personality type.

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Understanding personality differences can provide a framework for a better, more respectful relationship.

Love is in the Air: The Challenges and Gifts that Come with Personality Type Differences (From the Kids)

Jan 31, 2023
Gracyn Nelson-Reid
GRACYN NELSON-REID is a senior at the University of Texas San Antonio. She is majoring in Biology and plans to attend graduate school in the field of Microbiology research. Gracyn has been immersed in personality type theory from the time she was born! Her mom is a certified MBTI® and MMTIC® professional who introduced type theory and type language to her children to help them understand and appreciate differences.
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Gracyn Nelson-Reid, writing an article for the From the Kids series, tells us how her preference for ESFJ and her boyfriend's preference for INTP has caused numerous disagreements between them due to their complete opposite personality types. It hasn't been easy for them but understanding their personality type differences has provided a framework for better, more respectful communication.

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Sisters celebrate May the Fourth with personality type awareness

May The Fourth Be With You! The Force May Not Just Be in a Galaxy Far, Far Away

May 01, 2023
Gracyn Nelson-Reid
GRACYN NELSON-REID is a senior at the University of Texas San Antonio. She is majoring in Biology and plans to attend graduate school in the field of Microbiology research. Gracyn has been immersed in personality type theory from the time she was born! Her mom is a certified MBTI® and MMTIC® professional who introduced type theory and type language to her children to help them understand and appreciate differences.
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May the fourth, popularly known as Stars Wars Day, is a day to think about the force within you. Gracyn Nelson-Reid celebrates this day with an article about the force (type awareness) within all of us that can be accessed every day. Everyone has the capability to access the “type” force and make the world a more understanding place. It starts with becoming aware of your personality type and what strengths and stretches you have.

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Understanding one's own personality type can enhance one's daily gratitude process.

Leaves are Falling; Gratitude is Calling (From the Kids)

Oct 31, 2023
Gracyn Nelson-Reid
GRACYN NELSON-REID is a senior at the University of Texas San Antonio. She is majoring in Biology and plans to attend graduate school in the field of Microbiology research. Gracyn has been immersed in personality type theory from the time she was born! Her mom is a certified MBTI® and MMTIC® professional who introduced type theory and type language to her children to help them understand and appreciate differences.
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Autumn brings forth a resurgence of gratitude for many, but those experiencing hardship in life might need a little help to make every day a day for giving thanks. Gracyn Nelson-Reid describes her challenging year and how understanding her own personality type has helped in her healing process.

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