This month, we add another story, written by Gracyn Nelson-Reid, to the From the Kids series. With Valentine's Day just around the corner, we thought it would be interesting to hear how personality type impacts personal relationships from the perspective of a young person who grew up knowing Type. Gracyn graciously shares her own love story.

As the rush into the New Year slows down, the next occasion, Valentine's Day, comes to mind where love and appreciation takes precedence for the month of February. In honor of cupid's arrow and this surge of admiration, I want to highlight the challenges within my own romantic relationship regarding our personality differences and how these challenges flourish into gifts. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost four years. We dated throughout high school and now we're navigating college together.

As a couple we've faced external challenges, a pandemic, attending different schools, living in separate cities for college, and serious health issues. At the same time, we've also faced internal challenges as a result of our personality differences. I prefer Extroversion, Sensing, Feeling, and Judging (ESFJ) and my boyfriend prefers Introversion, Intuition, Thinking, and Perceiving (INTP). As you can imagine, we've experienced numerous disagreements due to our complete opposite personality types. It hasn't been easy but understanding our personality type differences has provided a framework for better, more respectful communication.

In these disagreements we found an opportunity to appreciate our differences. For example, recently my boyfriend and I went on a hiking trail that encompassed a giant rock, appropriately named, The Enchanted Rock. As there were no specific trails to hike up this rock, my boyfriend and I ended up going off trail unknowingly. The path we hiked down was steep with giant boulders placed sporadically. As someone who prefers Sensing and Judging, I feel comfortable with predictability and specific plans. I trust past experience, not the unknown! I'm not one who can easily be adventurous and spontaneous like my boyfriend who prefers Intuition and Perceiving. I felt terrified, whereas my boyfriend felt elated and eager for this new experience. While I was imagining the absolute worst-case scenario, my boyfriend was planning our route to safety and guiding me in a soothing manner. In that horrifying situation (to me), my boyfriend was able to calm me down and we hiked the path safely. Our differences provided us with the opportunity to appreciate the fact that there are different ways to approach situations. My panic could have frustrated him, and his adventurous spirit could have exasperated me, leading to an argument, but instead we understood and valued where each of us were coming from at that moment.

In line with appreciating each other's differences, a relationship between two people with personality differences can also provide opportunities to flex or stretch to our opposite personality styles and grow as a person. We can learn from each other. For most of my life, I've been the kind of person who would put everyone above myself even to my own detriment (Extraverted Feeling, or Feeling used in the outer world). Over time, my light began to darken. My preference for Feeling was in overdrive and my desire to help others led to resentment and burnout because I was ignoring my own needs. With the help of my boyfriend and his preference for Thinking, I was finally able to focus on my needs and stand up for myself. Through his objective view of the situation, it was clear to him that I was being taken advantage of and that I needed to learn to stand up for myself, even if that meant hurting someone else's feelings. If helping others was hurting me, then logically, I needed to do something about it. He taught me, through his own preference strengths, how to take care of myself while still taking care of others. I can value and honor my preference for Feeling (I do love helping people) while also knowing when to stretch towards Thinking (recognize when I need to help myself).

Through these past four years, my boyfriend and I have grown in love and grown as individuals. Both of us understand and appreciate the differences in our personalities and we've gained the knowledge and some ability to flex towards other personality styles when appropriate to the situation. As cliché as this may sound, not only do opposites attract, but with personality type insights they may also have their happily ever after. Happy Valentine's Day!

In this first article, of the series "From the Kids", Yvonne Nelson-Reid is dipping into her long history to share stories about the impact of type, on the kids who take the MMTIC assessment, from the perspective of the kids themselves.

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People tend to make inaccurate assumptions about themselves when faced with a problem to solve that requires them to go outside of their natural personality type. We can all use our opposite preferences when a situation requires it, however, it might feel awkward or uncomfortable, and we may be less effective in how we use them, leading to stress and a sense of personal failure. Children may experience this at a higher rate.

In this second article of "From the Kids" series, Yvonne Nelson-Reid chronicles a moment in her daughter's journey of understanding personality type differences and the compromises needed to succeed in school.

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Starting with an understanding of communication styles can make a difference in all our relationships.

In this third article of "From the Kids" Series, Yvonne Nelson-Reid discusses how understanding type differences can help teenagers navigate the complications of high school dating. Her teenage daughter describes the positive impact that learning about, and appreciating, communication style differences based on personality type, had on her own relationship.

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We are excited to add a new article to our From the Kids series, because this time it is written by a kid! Please welcome Gracyn Nelson-Reid, a junior in university, who grew up in a home where personality type differences were understood and appreciated. She shares the value of family traditions during holidays and special events, like Halloween, as it relates to her personality type.

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May the fourth, popularly known as Stars Wars Day, is a day to think about the force within you. Gracyn Nelson-Reid celebrates this day with an article about the force (type awareness) within all of us that can be accessed every day. Everyone has the capability to access the “type” force and make the world a more understanding place. It starts with becoming aware of your personality type and what strengths and stretches you have.

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Autumn brings forth a resurgence of gratitude for many, but those experiencing hardship in life might need a little help to make every day a day for giving thanks. Gracyn Nelson-Reid describes her challenging year and how understanding her own personality type has helped in her healing process.

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