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young hands on a pillow, one hand wrapped in gauze

Parenting in a Crisis: Who Do You Want Around?

May 14, 2018
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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When it comes to a crisis, especially one involving physical injury, you do not want me around! Several experiences come to mind regarding my own children and let me say, I'm not too proud of these moments. I like a well-planned out life. However, accidents typically do not happen on a schedule! I have a preference for Judging and planning every moment of every day makes me happy! However, parenting always has its surprises, often demolishing my plan.

At 9 months old, my oldest slipped and hit her upper lip on a ledge, tearing her frenulum, soon followed by gushing blood. As I ran around the house panicking about what to do, my husband calmly assisted our daughter, putting pressure on the wound, soothing her, and assessing the situation. His preference for Perceiving, being flexible, keeping options open, and living life spontaneously, came in handy on that day, and many more to follow. Of course, I beat myself up repeatedly questioning what I would have done if he had not been there.

Next time, I promised myself I would remain calm and handle the situation better. Needless to say, when that same child ripped off her toenail, I again fell to pieces. Husband to the rescue once more. Our third child was riding a skateboard down our driveway when she put her hand under the board as she was rounding a curve and off came her fingernail. Initial reaction ... "Someone find her nail now! We need to put it back on immediately!" As I am shouting out orders hysterically, somewhat irrationally, my other children scour the driveway searching for the dismembered nail, announcing with great cheer that they had found it! It was at this point in the ordeal that my husband appeared from around the corner looking both confused and amused, calmly taking over the situation. His flexible, spontaneous nature (Perceiving) seems to handle crises much better than I.

We often joke about who we would rather have arrive first at an accident, me or my husband, and the answer seems clear, at least in relation to our children. However, he isn't always around. When my son burned his hand with boiling water, my husband was out of town, and although my first reaction was one of terror, shouting to my adult daughter to "do something!" since she had taken athletic training in school, only to have her shout back that they didn't study what to do with burns, I quickly realized that I was his only hope. Calm on the outside, well at least pretending to be, I took on my "grownup" role and tended to his wounds. When needed, I was able to call on that part of myself who could handle the situation and forgive myself for my typical initial reaction of sheer panic! I was able to flex to my opposite, calling on my Thinking preference to help me assess the situation from an objective, logical, point of view. You see, if I could just plan out "accidents" (Judging) I know I could handle them better, which obviously isn't possible. Whereas, my husband, seems much better able to change course as needed, ready for anything and able to adapt when called upon. Interestingly, however, I seem better able to handle a crisis when it does not involve my own child. My natural tendency for compassion and a harmonious environment (preference for Feeling) seems to get triggered in a crisis, especially when those I value so dearly are hurting, hurling me into a state of convoluted logic and scatteredness. In moments like this, my inferior process, introverted Thinking, seems to take over and I tend to be self-critical and illogical.

When approaching the crisis with what appears to be a detached approach, my husband is able to reason clearly what needs to be done and adapt quickly in making a decision for what needs to happen next. Bottom line, I can step in when required, but I am oh so appreciative when he is there to lend a hand.

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Related Content

Do it for Mom: Type Tip #3

if you are the parent with a judging preference and your child has a perceiving preference, it is still OK to ask them to do their homework on a Friday night but recognize they are doing it for you, not for them. You might say, "My job as your Mom is to check your homework. I cannot relax over the weekend until I get that job off my list of things to do. Please do your homework on Friday so I can enjoy the rest of the weekend." Kids can adjust their behavior to respect the type of the parent, too.

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mom and two young children in chefs caps rolling out cookie dough

Good Mom or Bad Mom?

Feb 12, 2018
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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In my 30th year, I became a mother for the first time. All I really had to go on was how I was raised by my mother and observing friends who took the plunge before me.

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dad and young teen daughter working on a project

A Bike, a Trash Can, and a Lesson in Self-Management

Apr 03, 2018
Elizabeth Murphy, EdD
ELIZABETH MURPHY, EdD, is a psychologist and type expert whose research focuses on verifying the development of normal personality differences according to the theory of psychological type. She works extensively with families and teams of people to improve communication and resolve relationship needs.
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A father was taking his young daughter on a ride using her brand-new bike with training wheels. I watched the little girl riding on the sidewalk. The father was running ahead moving any trashcan that was in the way or little twigs that might be a bump for her. Basically, he was doing his best to make it a perfectly fine path for the child to ride.

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mom holding a book and pointing to daughter who is looking downwards

The Bungee Cord Between Setting Limits and Respecting Choices with Middle School Tweens

Jun 20, 2018
Elizabeth Murphy, EdD
ELIZABETH MURPHY, EdD, is a psychologist and type expert whose research focuses on verifying the development of normal personality differences according to the theory of psychological type. She works extensively with families and teams of people to improve communication and resolve relationship needs.
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Parents of children in middle school can feel they are caught by a bungee cord that whips them between giving their child independence and being fearful that the child is not ready to make decisions. Children this age are trying to establish their values as separate from the family, while at the same time loving the family and wanting to be part of that value system. Both parent and child experience the push and pull of this time period.

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Appreciating the differences in your siblings, and others, can help bridge communication gaps.

Siblings: Tender vs Tough

Apr 09, 2018
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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Encouraging kids to recognize and appreciate differences in each other, not only in their sibling relationships but in those relationships outside of the home, with friends, teachers, and extended family, can help bridge communication gaps. It isn't always easy.

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teen girl leaning on back the back of her chair

Different Views of Decision-Making

Apr 16, 2018
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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Last summer we moved from Virginia to Texas, leaving behind our college-aged daughter who was about to enter her sophomore year. It was a tough year for us both. She was homesick and I missed her dearly.

Over her December break, she started thinking about transferring schools so that she could move closer to us. Although this is what I had been hoping for, I knew this needed to be her decision. I could listen, I could lend support, and perhaps even encouraging words, but all in all, she needed to be the one to decide.

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young boy doing schoolwork, head back, cheeks rounded, and mouth blowing out air

End of School, End of Report Period, End of Patience

Jun 12, 2018
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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There is nothing I hate worse than seeing potential wasted. Getting that dreaded email or phone call from an exasperated teacher certainly does not help the situation.

Our school district has an online Parent Portal where parents can log in and monitor their child’s grades throughout the year. Now with five children this can become a full-time job in and of itself, so thankfully over the years there has not been a big need in my family to utilize this site, except with one child in particular.

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three children brushing their teeth

School Morning Routines… or Not

Jul 02, 2018
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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As a parent, I am sure you will relate well to this one! School mornings … chaos! Everyone has somewhere they need to be, each with their own schedule and arrival times. Our society does not function on going at your own pace or getting there when you get there.

You would think that those who typically get up late and run out at the last minute would be the most stressed, but not in our house! Those are the kids who seem most chill about throwing on their clothes, probably yesterday’s clothes, popping a mint, and putting their hair up in a messy ponytail.

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teen girl in pajamas, brushing teeth, taking selfie in bed

Monday Selfies: Telling Children They are Wonderful without Teaching Them How to Become Wonderful is Unfair

Jun 21, 2018
Elizabeth Murphy, EdD
ELIZABETH MURPHY, EdD, is a psychologist and type expert whose research focuses on verifying the development of normal personality differences according to the theory of psychological type. She works extensively with families and teams of people to improve communication and resolve relationship needs.
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We tell children so often that they are wonderful just being who they are but they don?t always feel wonderful. Many worry greatly about how others perceive them and do not have a sense of what others see.

Some children focus only on their flaws. Others notice only their strengths. Development means we all have moments when our way is a perfect match for the situation. Then there are the times when our way does not work well for the task at hand and we must accommodate.

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Framing Your Brainstorming:
Type Tip #6

You know the scenario - you are coming up with ideas fast and furious. If you want others to follow your way of expressing your thoughts, put a frame around them that explains how others should listen. For example, if you are brainstorming ideas you may say, "I am playing with possible ideas but have not selected any one." Now the listener knows these are not final choices but possible choices. This allows the young listener to better sort the information being shared.

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girl child looking at dresses hanging in a closet

Using Choices to Increase Individuality

Jul 18, 2018
Elizabeth Murphy, EdD
ELIZABETH MURPHY, EdD, is a psychologist and type expert whose research focuses on verifying the development of normal personality differences according to the theory of psychological type. She works extensively with families and teams of people to improve communication and resolve relationship needs.
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Teachers and parents often agree that individuality should be encouraged in the home and in the classroom, but sometimes we hear comments from teachers that sound like this: "How am I supposed to do that when there are more than 30 students in the class?"

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teacher with hand on hip and pointer stick pointing to teen boy in classroom

“My Teacher Hates Me! I Hate My Teacher!” – The Joys of a New School Year

Aug 07, 2018
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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Getting ready to meet the new teacher can add to the stress of the new year. Learning how to work through difficult situations is an important life skill, especially for young people.

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kneeling mother holding finger up to little, pouting girl in front of candy shelves in a store

The Delicate Balance Between Compliance and Development

Aug 28, 2018
Elizabeth Murphy, EdD
ELIZABETH MURPHY, EdD, is a psychologist and type expert whose research focuses on verifying the development of normal personality differences according to the theory of psychological type. She works extensively with families and teams of people to improve communication and resolve relationship needs.
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When a child makes an independent choice, development occurs. We want to give children the freedom of wise decision making, but some decisions are not theirs to make. That’s when rules apply.

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woman's manicured hands writing on sticky notes

What’s Your POS (Parent Operating System)? And Where Does it Come From?

Oct 12, 2018
Mollie Allen, MEd
MOLLIE ALLEN, MEd, is a certified coach, teacher and consultant working with groups and individuals. With undergraduate degrees in Child Development and Special Education and a M.Ed. in Administration and Supervision she worked in schools and in private practice with students of all ages and levels for 25 years.
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A major challenge for some parents is learning how to support your children without forgetting about yourself. I developed habits and policies – my Parent Operating System – through experience and reflection. A foundational piece came after one “my project is due tomorrow” event.

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little boy holding a broom in one hand and a quarter in the other

Help or Hire?

Oct 01, 2018
Elizabeth Murphy, EdD
ELIZABETH MURPHY, EdD, is a psychologist and type expert whose research focuses on verifying the development of normal personality differences according to the theory of psychological type. She works extensively with families and teams of people to improve communication and resolve relationship needs.
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Children love when we wait on them hand and foot. Who doesn't? Sometimes, without meaning to, we inadvertently encourage children to feign helplessness because we rush to help too soon. Here is a suggested strategy that works well for those occasions.

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car steering wheel covered in sticky notes with appointments and lists

Over Scheduled – Knowing When Enough is Enough

Nov 30, 2018
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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How can you keep up with all your kids' scheduled activities? Here a few tips for managing the onslaught of after-school programs.

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little boy laying face down in time-out on a wood bench

Toss That Time-Out Chair: Use the Z-Model

Jan 17, 2019
Elizabeth Murphy, EdD
ELIZABETH MURPHY, EdD, is a psychologist and type expert whose research focuses on verifying the development of normal personality differences according to the theory of psychological type. She works extensively with families and teams of people to improve communication and resolve relationship needs.
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Time-out is a staple in the set of parenting tools for managing a child’s inappropriate behaviors. Time-out was a good alternative to spanking children but we can do even better. Try changing the chair to a Problem-Solving chair.

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father lecturing his teen son

Two Worlds: Extraversion and Introversion

Jan 31, 2019
Mollie Allen, MEd
MOLLIE ALLEN, MEd, is a certified coach, teacher and consultant working with groups and individuals. With undergraduate degrees in Child Development and Special Education and a M.Ed. in Administration and Supervision she worked in schools and in private practice with students of all ages and levels for 25 years.
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Taking time to reflect before making a decision is a good skill to have. Depending on their preferences, kids may either be good at it or may not recognize the importance of that inner conversation. This People Stripes article examines the manifestations of our inward and outward energies.

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angry mom and teen girl sitting at either end of couch looking away from each other

Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better

Feb 22, 2019
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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You know that feeling when you just can't finish a sentence before your friend jumps in with a better version of your story. It may not be what you think it is. This People Stripes article that offers a fresh perspective on this challenging moment.

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two teen girls, one smiling, the other with puckered lips and sunglasses in her hand

The View from Here

Mar 12, 2019
Emma Brandt
EMMA BRANDT is a senior in high school. She plans to attend a university, majoring in Psychology and Spanish. Emma began learning about personality type early in her high school career, and she engages daily in extensive conversations with her mom about people's personality types.
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Learning about personality type can make a big difference in how we view our siblings. They may not be intentionally trying to drive us crazy! This People Stripes article offers a perspective on how a teenager learned to understand that her sister sees the world differently.

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teen girl and younger sister holding umbrellas with strange look on their faces

Helicopters and Snowplows

Apr 09, 2019
Elizabeth Murphy, EdD
ELIZABETH MURPHY, EdD, is a psychologist and type expert whose research focuses on verifying the development of normal personality differences according to the theory of psychological type. She works extensively with families and teams of people to improve communication and resolve relationship needs.
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If your first reaction as a parent is to dive in and solve problems for your kids, you might want to rethink that action. In this People Stripes article, Elizabeth Murphy cautions us to let our kids learn to make their own choices.

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three college students holding folders and books

The College Search Adventure

Apr 18, 2019
Mollie Allen, MEd
MOLLIE ALLEN, MEd, is a certified coach, teacher and consultant working with groups and individuals. With undergraduate degrees in Child Development and Special Education and a M.Ed. in Administration and Supervision she worked in schools and in private practice with students of all ages and levels for 25 years.
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Picking a college to attend is one of the biggest steps into the journey of adulthood. So many external forces are in play - it can be difficult to the student to focus on their own development and how that impacts the college decision. This People Stripes article offers a useful perspective on this adventure.

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lady hugging young, smiling girl through car window

Meet, Greet, Repeat – Sweet!

May 30, 2019
Elizabeth Murphy, EdD
ELIZABETH MURPHY, EdD, is a psychologist and type expert whose research focuses on verifying the development of normal personality differences according to the theory of psychological type. She works extensively with families and teams of people to improve communication and resolve relationship needs.
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What is the first thing you do when your child or your student comes home or enters a room? An intentional greeting can make a big difference for everyone. Elizabeth Murphy provides a few tips on how to make each greeting count.

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dad and little girl at beach, dad handing girl a wood, fully rigged sailing ship

Not the Typical Gifts for Our Kids

Jun 25, 2019
Elizabeth Murphy, EdD
ELIZABETH MURPHY, EdD, is a psychologist and type expert whose research focuses on verifying the development of normal personality differences according to the theory of psychological type. She works extensively with families and teams of people to improve communication and resolve relationship needs.
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Finding a gift for a child can be a real joy, and that activity varies if you are the parent or the grandparent. This People Stripes article offers a few ideas you might not have considered when picking out a gift that might truly be appreciated.

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young man chemist pouring red liquid from one beaker to another, smiling

Preparing for the 21st Century

Jul 31, 2019
Elizabeth Murphy, EdD
ELIZABETH MURPHY, EdD, is a psychologist and type expert whose research focuses on verifying the development of normal personality differences according to the theory of psychological type. She works extensively with families and teams of people to improve communication and resolve relationship needs.
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Helping your child succeed in the 21st century calls for a new approach to the balance between specialist and generalist. Elizabeth Murphy shows us how to nurture that balance, looking through the lens of personality type.

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young woman excited, eyes closed, head back and smiling big with hands in fists

Motivation Matters: Give a Moose a Muffin

Sep 12, 2019
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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Motivation matters. It is the core of our personality that motivates us, and this shines through in several different ways depending upon our personality type. See how motivation manifests itself in teens with different types.

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young boy looking up with hands in thinking position over mouth

The “What If?” Game: Daydreaming the Future

Dec 10, 2019
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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Do you ever play the “What if” game? It may not be a real game, but we all probably play it everyday. Always living in the here and now is hard - our minds start wandering to what might be just around the corner. This People Stripes article explores how to deal with that in a family with those who prefer Intuition or Sensing.

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parents and two young sons at dining table with dad pointing to a chores chart

Calling All Members to a Family Meeting!

Feb 26, 2020
Mollie Allen, MEd
MOLLIE ALLEN, MEd, is a certified coach, teacher and consultant working with groups and individuals. With undergraduate degrees in Child Development and Special Education and a M.Ed. in Administration and Supervision she worked in schools and in private practice with students of all ages and levels for 25 years.
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Time for a big family decision? When there are many things to discuss, many people will be involved, everyone will have to adjust, and the resolution won't happen overnight. Everyone needs to be heard, so a family meeting is the way to go.

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Career counselor explaining MBTI results to a student

Personality Type and What’s Next After High School?

Nov 17, 2020
Mollie Allen, MEd
MOLLIE ALLEN, MEd, is a certified coach, teacher and consultant working with groups and individuals. With undergraduate degrees in Child Development and Special Education and a M.Ed. in Administration and Supervision she worked in schools and in private practice with students of all ages and levels for 25 years.
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It’s that time of year, and in spite of the pandemic, planning for next year is under way. After sitting with counselors, mentors, and parents, exploring all sorts of colleges, universities, gap-year options or entering the military service, some high school seniors are beginning to make decisions.

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The Z Problem Solving Model

Family Holidays in the Time of COVID: Will We Celebrate Together?

Dec 22, 2020
Mollie Allen, MEd
MOLLIE ALLEN, MEd, is a certified coach, teacher and consultant working with groups and individuals. With undergraduate degrees in Child Development and Special Education and a M.Ed. in Administration and Supervision she worked in schools and in private practice with students of all ages and levels for 25 years.
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The holidays bring a big challenge to families who want to be together, especially in a pandemic. Fortunately we have a proven model for decision-making. The Zig Zag method walks us through Sending, Intuition, Thinking, and Feeling and helps us arrive at a decision that honors the facts and the people.

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mom with hands at temples, two children behind her having a pillow fight

Still Coping with Covid-19

Feb 17, 2021
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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Coping with Covid-19 continues to be a major challenge for families. In this People Stripes article Yvonne Nelson-Reid explores more type-based techniques for getting through these tough times.

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Siblings approaching time-management in different ways

Adapt or Manage: How Do You Approach Time?

Jun 02, 2021
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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Yvonne Nelson-Reid discusses the distinctions between preferences for Judging and Perceiving in her two youngest children, in grades 11 and 12, when they had the opportunity to take Advanced Placement Environmental Science together. The preferences indicate an important distinction in personalities, as preferences for Judging and Perceiving determine how people approach established deadlines.

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Feeling and Feedback: Type Tip #14

Young children with a Feeling preference may interpret a lack of feedback as being undervalued or disliked. It is not an issue of ego or self-esteem. Since the Feeling preference is typically about doing something for someone, they need assurance that what they did met the need. Parents with a Thinking preference may underestimate the importance of feedback to a child who prefers Feeling.

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Students using their strengths and exercising their stretches to get along

Student Outcomes (Research Series – NC Part 3)

Jan 05, 2022
Kesstan Blandin, PhD
KESSTAN BLANDIN, PhD is the Vice President of Research and Development at Myers & Briggs Foundation in Gainesville, FL, where she conducts research in Jungian typology and archetypes.
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This is the third, and final article of the two-year study at Combs Elementary school in Raleigh, North Carolina, where the MMTIC® instrument and system was comprehensively incorporated into the school system. In this article Kesstan Blandin highlights the education the third-grade students received on decision-making using the psychological type Z-model, and student outcomes for the study.

The seven main student outcomes were: (1) developing type awareness, (2) enhancing their self-awareness, (3) advocating for their choices, (4) challenging themselves to improve their stretches, (5) improving classroom community, (6) enhancing their self-management, and (7) promoting motivation and engagement. Three of these outcomes are discussed in more detail.

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Thinking/Feeling - Both Decision Words: Type Tip #16

Those with a Thinking preference tend to hear the word "feel" as an emotion. Those with a Feeling preference hear that word as a decision, a choice. So, when I work with young children, I try to use a pair of words. Instead of saying "How do you feel about that?" I say, "What do you think or feel about that?" Children who prefer Thinking can latch onto the "think" word and children with a Feeling preference can latch onto the word "feel."

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Teens living their best life with a healthy sense of their own identity and respect for each other

Personality Type and Social Emotional Learning (SEL Series – Part 1)

Feb 01, 2022
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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Imagine a world with well-rounded, caring, emotionally aware, and capable people living their best life with a healthy sense of their own identity and respect for others. Isn't this what we all want? In this article, the first in a series, Yvonne Nelson-Reid explores the interrelationship between personality type and the Social Emotional Learning (SEL) movement, and how that connection can benefit the healthy development of youth and adults alike.

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Mother and daughter understanding the type differences of how they manage time

Personality Type and Social Emotional Learning: Self-Management (SEL Series – Part 3)

Apr 04, 2022
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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Personality type awareness offers a way to manage stress, be more comfortable with our stretches, and further develop our strengths. This month, in this third article of the SEL series, on the core competency Self-Management, Yvonne Nelson-Reid highlights how we can resolve the conflicts that arise when dealing with one another's opposite preferences, especially the Judging and Perceiving preference pair. Self-management, especially in stressful moments, becomes easier with an understanding of personality type.

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Teens can use the Z-model to make better decisions

Personality Type and Social Emotional Learning: Responsible Decision-Making (SEL Series – Part 4)

May 03, 2022
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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In this fourth article of the Social Emotional Learning (SEL) series, Yvonne Nelson-Reid presents how to approach the SEL core competency of Responsible Decision-Making by using the Zig-Zag Process™ (Z-model). The Z-model introduces a balanced method for decision-making by using all four mental processes of Sensing, Intuition, Thinking, and Feeling to allow for clearer perceptions and sounder judgments.

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Making a Choice: Type Tip #20

Give CHOICES, CHOICES, CHOICES. Every time a child makes an independent choice, they choose a way to process the options and make a selection. This action allows for type exploration and type development. Even infants and toddlers can make choices. With toddlers, instead of the command, "Sit here" say, "Which chair would you like to use?" We may not know the basis for the choice but reaching a decision would require taking in information and making a choice, resulting in personal development.

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Type and Decision-Making: Type Tip #21

Use the Z-model of decision-making with children just as you do with adults. Before bringing closure to a decision, they should answer four key questions.

  1. Do we have all the information we need? (Sensing)
  2. Should we consider other possibilities? (Intuition)
  3. Is this reasonable? Can we really do it? (Thinking)
  4. Is this important? Is it worth my time? (Feeling)

They may need help answering the questions but asking the questions prepares them to look at an issue from a variety of perspectives. These four questions are only an example. Many others could be used.


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Siblings in conflict can use type awareness to navigate their differences and appreciate each other's natural type preferences

It is Okay to be Me! Navigating Sibling Conflict

Aug 30, 2022
Sandra Etherington
SANDRA ETHERINGTON is a mother of two and the host of the Family Personalities podcast, a show that helps break down personality type models so that we can use them in our everyday parenting. A UCLA alumna, with a background in mathematics, Sandra has a love of models that help us understand humans and our interactions with one another.
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This month’s article is by Sandra Etherington, a mother of two who is an MBTI® and MMTIC® certified professional. Sandra eloquently shares her own parenting experience dealing with her children and a conflict that arose between Thinking and Feeling preferences.

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Thinking Out Loud with Extraversion: Type Tip #25

Because people who prefer Extraversion tend to think "out loud" they sometimes say one thing but change direction quickly. A parent with a preference for Introversion might overreact to a comment too soon. When talking with a child who prefers Extraversion, if they express something that is perplexing, I usually ask first, "Is this a final thought or a thought still forming?" If it is a final thought, you can react. If it is a forming thought, you can wait for the final version before reacting.

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Shifting your perspective to see the gifts of a child's personality preference can help you find gratitude in moments of frustration.

Thanksgiving: Gratitude Through Type

Oct 31, 2022
Sandra Etherington
SANDRA ETHERINGTON is a mother of two and the host of the Family Personalities podcast, a show that helps break down personality type models so that we can use them in our everyday parenting. A UCLA alumna, with a background in mathematics, Sandra has a love of models that help us understand humans and our interactions with one another.
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What are your kids' personality preferences and have you ever found yourself frustrated by them? In this month's article, Sandra Etherington shares how to shift your perspective to discover reasons to be grateful for your child's individual personality preferences.

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Become an effective parent and strengthen your relationship with your children through type awareness

Parenting and Personality Type: The Myers-Briggs Company Podcast with Dr. Yvonne Nelson-Reid

Oct 03, 2023

People Stripes is proud to share The Myers-Briggs Company Podcast on parenting and personality type, featuring Dr. Yvonne Nelson-Reid, our in-house Type expert. In this episode, Dr. Nelson-Reid dives into the most commonly asked questions about personality type and parenting.

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Understanding one's own personality type can enhance one's daily gratitude process.

Leaves are Falling; Gratitude is Calling (From the Kids)

Oct 31, 2023
Gracyn Nelson-Reid
GRACYN NELSON-REID is a senior at the University of Texas San Antonio. She is majoring in Biology and plans to attend graduate school in the field of Microbiology research. Gracyn has been immersed in personality type theory from the time she was born! Her mom is a certified MBTI® and MMTIC® professional who introduced type theory and type language to her children to help them understand and appreciate differences.
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Autumn brings forth a resurgence of gratitude for many, but those experiencing hardship in life might need a little help to make every day a day for giving thanks. Gracyn Nelson-Reid describes her challenging year and how understanding her own personality type has helped in her healing process.

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Type dynamics can affect how one naturally approaches the Z-Model.

Problem-Solving Model Using Personality Type (Part 2: The Z-Model Ideal vs Actual)

Sep 09, 2024
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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Using all the mental processes (Sensing, Intuition, Thinking, and Feeling) can lead to clearer perceptions, sounder judgments, and more effective problem-solving. In this second article of the Problem-Solving two-part series, Dr. Yvonne Nelson-Reid explains Gordon Lawrence’s Z-Model for problem-solving using MBTI® personality type, and each personality type's bias is considered.

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The Z-Model provides a solution to balanced and responsible decision-making.

Problem-Solving Model Using Personality Type (Part 1: The Z-Model)

Sep 05, 2024
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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The four mental processes—Sensing, Intuition, Thinking, and Feeling—are used for taking in information and making decisions. We need all the processes for effective problem-solving. Most of us tend to lean on our natural strengths and neglect our stretches. For a balanced way to problem-solve, Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD, proposes the use of the Z-model. The Z-model is easy to use and directs one, using questions for guidance, through each of the four mental processes.

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