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Siblings approaching time-management in different ways

Adapt or Manage: How Do You Approach Time?

Jun 02, 2021
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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My two youngest children, in grades 11 and 12, had the opportunity to take Advanced Placement Environmental Science together. For them, this was exciting since they get along very well, and have a keen interest in the environment and saving the earth. They have similar personality styles, aside from the last letter of their four-letter type: my son prefers ESFP (Extraversion, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving) whereas my daughter prefers ESFJ (Extraversion, Sensing, Feeling, Judging). This last letter and preference indicates an important distinction in their personalities, as preferences for Judging and Perceiving determine how people approach established deadlines.

A major project was assigned where they had to create a map of our home showing energy consumption along with costs and environmental impact. My daughter began her project a week in advance and spent hours putting it together. Each day she spent time on it to get it just right. She really wanted to do a great job, get it perfect, and impress her teacher. I have learned over the years that although my son is not an early-starter, he will get his work done but performs better when pressure-prompted, so I try to trust his process. This is not easy for me, with a preference for Judging myself, I prefer a schedule and a plan to get projects completed. As you can imagine, my daughter and I are often on the same page! Knowing how hard she worked throughout the week and having heard nothing from my son, I agonized over when to step in. Finally, two hours before the project was due, I caved in and asked my son how his project was going. His response was "What project?" Yikes! He quickly realized by my reaction which project I was referring to. He said, "No worries mom, I will get it done." He had not even begun but planned to complete it on time.

Keep in mind they are both good students and grades matter to them. Sure enough, he completed the project on time and received a good grade (not as good as his sister, mind you, but that is another story). Until he had to do the work, he enjoyed the other options that presented themselves to him, often involving play and friends. I still check in to make sure he is completing the work he needs to do, but I have accepted over time to trust his process even though it is very different from my own. Time management is something we have always had to work on, but he is getting better with it the older he gets.

As parents we have our own perception of our children; I have always been intrigued with how other adults see my kids. I reached out to their teacher on another matter, and she shared how much she enjoys having both my kids in her virtual Zoom class remarking on how their personalities are so different. I had to smile over that one. My daughter has her camera on and is fully engaged in the class, whereas my son is more laid back and aloof, often with his camera pointed to the ceiling, involved but only as needed. This difference, in part, expresses through their preferences for Judging and Perceiving, where a preference for Judging often leads one to be more focused and engaged, and Perceiving types typically have a more open and meandering style.

Clearly, different approaches bring forth different reactions. My son was relaxed enough to finish on time even with a short deadline, while my daughter and I were freaking out! My daughter, on the other hand, gave herself enough time to plan and complete the project at a high quality, which for her, alleviated stress and anxiety. Knowing how you work best is the key to success. Letting your children work in the way that works best for them is their key to success. As a parent, however, this can lead to some of our greatest frustrations, yet can give rise to one of our most teachable moments.

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Related Content

Timing: Type Tip #2

Use backward chaining to help perceiving-preferenced students to gauge when to begin assignments. Ask them to name the last moment they can begin and still get the work done. Consider possible interferences and let them wait to produce. One mom asked, "Wouldn't they be more comfortable if they just did their homework on Friday night? Then they would have the whole weekend worry-free. They already have the weekend worry-free.The younger the child the greater the chance they will underestimate the amount of time it will take to complete an assignment, especially if it is a new kind of assignment. Teach them better timing. It is not about irresponsibility. It is about timing.

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Do it for Mom: Type Tip #3

if you are the parent with a judging preference and your child has a perceiving preference, it is still OK to ask them to do their homework on a Friday night but recognize they are doing it for you, not for them. You might say, "My job as your Mom is to check your homework. I cannot relax over the weekend until I get that job off my list of things to do. Please do your homework on Friday so I can enjoy the rest of the weekend." Kids can adjust their behavior to respect the type of the parent, too.

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two young girls with heads together talking and looking down at something

I have to keep nagging my child to do her homework!

Feb 12, 2018
Elizabeth Murphy, EdD
ELIZABETH MURPHY, EdD, is a psychologist and type expert whose research focuses on verifying the development of normal personality differences according to the theory of psychological type. She works extensively with families and teams of people to improve communication and resolve relationship needs.
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Homework can be a constant source of friction in the home. Many parents feel that without a constant push, their children will not complete homework assignments.

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dad and young teen daughter working on a project

A Bike, a Trash Can, and a Lesson in Self-Management

Apr 03, 2018
Elizabeth Murphy, EdD
ELIZABETH MURPHY, EdD, is a psychologist and type expert whose research focuses on verifying the development of normal personality differences according to the theory of psychological type. She works extensively with families and teams of people to improve communication and resolve relationship needs.
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A father was taking his young daughter on a ride using her brand-new bike with training wheels. I watched the little girl riding on the sidewalk. The father was running ahead moving any trashcan that was in the way or little twigs that might be a bump for her. Basically, he was doing his best to make it a perfectly fine path for the child to ride.

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grandma and young girl going over homework

It's Their Homework Not Yours – How to Help Without Taking Over the Work

Apr 03, 2018
Elizabeth Murphy, EdD
ELIZABETH MURPHY, EdD, is a psychologist and type expert whose research focuses on verifying the development of normal personality differences according to the theory of psychological type. She works extensively with families and teams of people to improve communication and resolve relationship needs.
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Have you endured the experience of supervising, snoopervising, and actually doing your child’s homework? I believe every parent wants the child to do the work independently but for some that habit does not seem to develop naturally. Some parents monitor every step of their child’s work, and the child learns to manipulate the system until the parent is doing more work than the child.

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mom holding a book and pointing to daughter who is looking downwards

The Bungee Cord Between Setting Limits and Respecting Choices with Middle School Tweens

Jun 20, 2018
Elizabeth Murphy, EdD
ELIZABETH MURPHY, EdD, is a psychologist and type expert whose research focuses on verifying the development of normal personality differences according to the theory of psychological type. She works extensively with families and teams of people to improve communication and resolve relationship needs.
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Parents of children in middle school can feel they are caught by a bungee cord that whips them between giving their child independence and being fearful that the child is not ready to make decisions. Children this age are trying to establish their values as separate from the family, while at the same time loving the family and wanting to be part of that value system. Both parent and child experience the push and pull of this time period.

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Appreciating the differences in your siblings, and others, can help bridge communication gaps.

Siblings: Tender vs Tough

Apr 09, 2018
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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Encouraging kids to recognize and appreciate differences in each other, not only in their sibling relationships but in those relationships outside of the home, with friends, teachers, and extended family, can help bridge communication gaps. It isn't always easy.

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teen girl leaning on back the back of her chair

Different Views of Decision-Making

Apr 16, 2018
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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Last summer we moved from Virginia to Texas, leaving behind our college-aged daughter who was about to enter her sophomore year. It was a tough year for us both. She was homesick and I missed her dearly.

Over her December break, she started thinking about transferring schools so that she could move closer to us. Although this is what I had been hoping for, I knew this needed to be her decision. I could listen, I could lend support, and perhaps even encouraging words, but all in all, she needed to be the one to decide.

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young hands on a pillow, one hand wrapped in gauze

Parenting in a Crisis: Who Do You Want Around?

May 14, 2018
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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When it comes to a crisis, especially one involving physical injury, you do not want me around! Several experiences come to mind in regard to my own children and let me be the first to say, I’m not too proud of these moments.

I like a well-planned out life. However, accidents typically do not happen on a schedule! I have a preference for Judging, and planning every moment of everyday makes me happy!

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young boy doing schoolwork, head back, cheeks rounded, and mouth blowing out air

End of School, End of Report Period, End of Patience

Jun 12, 2018
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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There is nothing I hate worse than seeing potential wasted. Getting that dreaded email or phone call from an exasperated teacher certainly does not help the situation.

Our school district has an online Parent Portal where parents can log in and monitor their child’s grades throughout the year. Now with five children this can become a full-time job in and of itself, so thankfully over the years there has not been a big need in my family to utilize this site, except with one child in particular.

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Rewarding Reading: Type Tip #5

Kids with an intuitive preference self-report reading more books than kids with a sensing preference, but sensing kids tend to read more magazines, articles, and shorter pieces of information. Schools that reward students for the number of books they read may have a hidden bias in favor of the intuitive. The problem can be solved by rewarding the students for the number of minutes spent reading, rather than the number of books read, which allows a variety of ways for reading to be recognized.

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three children brushing their teeth

School Morning Routines… or Not

Jul 02, 2018
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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As a parent, I am sure you will relate well to this one! School mornings … chaos! Everyone has somewhere they need to be, each with their own schedule and arrival times. Our society does not function on going at your own pace or getting there when you get there.

You would think that those who typically get up late and run out at the last minute would be the most stressed, but not in our house! Those are the kids who seem most chill about throwing on their clothes, probably yesterday’s clothes, popping a mint, and putting their hair up in a messy ponytail.

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teen girl in pajamas, brushing teeth, taking selfie in bed

Monday Selfies: Telling Children They are Wonderful without Teaching Them How to Become Wonderful is Unfair

Jun 21, 2018
Elizabeth Murphy, EdD
ELIZABETH MURPHY, EdD, is a psychologist and type expert whose research focuses on verifying the development of normal personality differences according to the theory of psychological type. She works extensively with families and teams of people to improve communication and resolve relationship needs.
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We tell children so often that they are wonderful just being who they are but they don?t always feel wonderful. Many worry greatly about how others perceive them and do not have a sense of what others see.

Some children focus only on their flaws. Others notice only their strengths. Development means we all have moments when our way is a perfect match for the situation. Then there are the times when our way does not work well for the task at hand and we must accommodate.

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Framing Your Brainstorming:
Type Tip #6

You know the scenario - you are coming up with ideas fast and furious. If you want others to follow your way of expressing your thoughts, put a frame around them that explains how others should listen. For example, if you are brainstorming ideas you may say, "I am playing with possible ideas but have not selected any one." Now the listener knows these are not final choices but possible choices. This allows the young listener to better sort the information being shared.

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girl child looking at dresses hanging in a closet

Using Choices to Increase Individuality

Jul 18, 2018
Elizabeth Murphy, EdD
ELIZABETH MURPHY, EdD, is a psychologist and type expert whose research focuses on verifying the development of normal personality differences according to the theory of psychological type. She works extensively with families and teams of people to improve communication and resolve relationship needs.
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Teachers and parents often agree that individuality should be encouraged in the home and in the classroom, but sometimes we hear comments from teachers that sound like this: "How am I supposed to do that when there are more than 30 students in the class?"

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teacher with hand on hip and pointer stick pointing to teen boy in classroom

“My Teacher Hates Me! I Hate My Teacher!” – The Joys of a New School Year

Aug 07, 2018
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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Getting ready to meet the new teacher can add to the stress of the new year. Learning how to work through difficult situations is an important life skill, especially for young people.

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teacher and young students around a table looking at tablets

Learning Styles – Meeting the Needs of the Student

Aug 13, 2018
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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Time management is a big deal in school, especially considering the incredibly busy lives so many of our kids lead. Clearly, some kids like structure, using a planner to organize their daily activities and homework assignments, and we know many who don't. Teaching kids in a way that honors their different learning styles can help everyone succeed.

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kneeling mother holding finger up to little, pouting girl in front of candy shelves in a store

The Delicate Balance Between Compliance and Development

Aug 28, 2018
Elizabeth Murphy, EdD
ELIZABETH MURPHY, EdD, is a psychologist and type expert whose research focuses on verifying the development of normal personality differences according to the theory of psychological type. She works extensively with families and teams of people to improve communication and resolve relationship needs.
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When a child makes an independent choice, development occurs. We want to give children the freedom of wise decision making, but some decisions are not theirs to make. That’s when rules apply.

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man and teen boy sitting at piano talking

How was Your School Day? From No Response to an Overabundance of Details

Sep 12, 2018
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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Kids spend a great deal of time away from us during the day, either through day care or school, depending upon age and parents' schedules. So, what goes on during this time? If you are like me, one of the first things I ask the kids when they come home is, "How was your day?"

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woman's manicured hands writing on sticky notes

What’s Your POS (Parent Operating System)? And Where Does it Come From?

Oct 12, 2018
Mollie Allen, MEd
MOLLIE ALLEN, MEd, is a certified coach, teacher and consultant working with groups and individuals. With undergraduate degrees in Child Development and Special Education and a M.Ed. in Administration and Supervision she worked in schools and in private practice with students of all ages and levels for 25 years.
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A major challenge for some parents is learning how to support your children without forgetting about yourself. I developed habits and policies – my Parent Operating System – through experience and reflection. A foundational piece came after one “my project is due tomorrow” event.

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little boy holding a broom in one hand and a quarter in the other

Help or Hire?

Oct 01, 2018
Elizabeth Murphy, EdD
ELIZABETH MURPHY, EdD, is a psychologist and type expert whose research focuses on verifying the development of normal personality differences according to the theory of psychological type. She works extensively with families and teams of people to improve communication and resolve relationship needs.
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Children love when we wait on them hand and foot. Who doesn't? Sometimes, without meaning to, we inadvertently encourage children to feign helplessness because we rush to help too soon. Here is a suggested strategy that works well for those occasions.

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car steering wheel covered in sticky notes with appointments and lists

Over Scheduled – Knowing When Enough is Enough

Nov 30, 2018
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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How can you keep up with all your kids' scheduled activities? Here a few tips for managing the onslaught of after-school programs.

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parents and young teen boy and girl at breakfast and talking

Family Meetings – Creating a Safe Environment Where Everyone has a Voice

Jan 09, 2019
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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When you see signs of frustration and misunderstandings in your family, it may be time for a family meeting. This People Stripes article gives a good example of the positive outcomes.

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little boy laying face down in time-out on a wood bench

Toss That Time-Out Chair: Use the Z-Model

Jan 17, 2019
Elizabeth Murphy, EdD
ELIZABETH MURPHY, EdD, is a psychologist and type expert whose research focuses on verifying the development of normal personality differences according to the theory of psychological type. She works extensively with families and teams of people to improve communication and resolve relationship needs.
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Time-out is a staple in the set of parenting tools for managing a child’s inappropriate behaviors. Time-out was a good alternative to spanking children but we can do even better. Try changing the chair to a Problem-Solving chair.

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father lecturing his teen son

Two Worlds: Extraversion and Introversion

Jan 31, 2019
Mollie Allen, MEd
MOLLIE ALLEN, MEd, is a certified coach, teacher and consultant working with groups and individuals. With undergraduate degrees in Child Development and Special Education and a M.Ed. in Administration and Supervision she worked in schools and in private practice with students of all ages and levels for 25 years.
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Taking time to reflect before making a decision is a good skill to have. Depending on their preferences, kids may either be good at it or may not recognize the importance of that inner conversation. This People Stripes article examines the manifestations of our inward and outward energies.

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angry mom and teen girl sitting at either end of couch looking away from each other

Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better

Feb 22, 2019
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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You know that feeling when you just can't finish a sentence before your friend jumps in with a better version of your story. It may not be what you think it is. This People Stripes article that offers a fresh perspective on this challenging moment.

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two teen girls, one smiling, the other with puckered lips and sunglasses in her hand

The View from Here

Mar 12, 2019
Emma Brandt
EMMA BRANDT is a senior in high school. She plans to attend a university, majoring in Psychology and Spanish. Emma began learning about personality type early in her high school career, and she engages daily in extensive conversations with her mom about people's personality types.
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Learning about personality type can make a big difference in how we view our siblings. They may not be intentionally trying to drive us crazy! This People Stripes article offers a perspective on how a teenager learned to understand that her sister sees the world differently.

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teen girl and younger sister holding umbrellas with strange look on their faces

Helicopters and Snowplows

Apr 09, 2019
Elizabeth Murphy, EdD
ELIZABETH MURPHY, EdD, is a psychologist and type expert whose research focuses on verifying the development of normal personality differences according to the theory of psychological type. She works extensively with families and teams of people to improve communication and resolve relationship needs.
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If your first reaction as a parent is to dive in and solve problems for your kids, you might want to rethink that action. In this People Stripes article, Elizabeth Murphy cautions us to let our kids learn to make their own choices.

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three college students holding folders and books

The College Search Adventure

Apr 18, 2019
Mollie Allen, MEd
MOLLIE ALLEN, MEd, is a certified coach, teacher and consultant working with groups and individuals. With undergraduate degrees in Child Development and Special Education and a M.Ed. in Administration and Supervision she worked in schools and in private practice with students of all ages and levels for 25 years.
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Picking a college to attend is one of the biggest steps into the journey of adulthood. So many external forces are in play - it can be difficult to the student to focus on their own development and how that impacts the college decision. This People Stripes article offers a useful perspective on this adventure.

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lady hugging young, smiling girl through car window

Meet, Greet, Repeat – Sweet!

May 30, 2019
Elizabeth Murphy, EdD
ELIZABETH MURPHY, EdD, is a psychologist and type expert whose research focuses on verifying the development of normal personality differences according to the theory of psychological type. She works extensively with families and teams of people to improve communication and resolve relationship needs.
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What is the first thing you do when your child or your student comes home or enters a room? An intentional greeting can make a big difference for everyone. Elizabeth Murphy provides a few tips on how to make each greeting count.

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dad and little girl at beach, dad handing girl a wood, fully rigged sailing ship

Not the Typical Gifts for Our Kids

Jun 25, 2019
Elizabeth Murphy, EdD
ELIZABETH MURPHY, EdD, is a psychologist and type expert whose research focuses on verifying the development of normal personality differences according to the theory of psychological type. She works extensively with families and teams of people to improve communication and resolve relationship needs.
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Finding a gift for a child can be a real joy, and that activity varies if you are the parent or the grandparent. This People Stripes article offers a few ideas you might not have considered when picking out a gift that might truly be appreciated.

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young man chemist pouring red liquid from one beaker to another, smiling

Preparing for the 21st Century

Jul 31, 2019
Elizabeth Murphy, EdD
ELIZABETH MURPHY, EdD, is a psychologist and type expert whose research focuses on verifying the development of normal personality differences according to the theory of psychological type. She works extensively with families and teams of people to improve communication and resolve relationship needs.
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Helping your child succeed in the 21st century calls for a new approach to the balance between specialist and generalist. Elizabeth Murphy shows us how to nurture that balance, looking through the lens of personality type.

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young woman excited, eyes closed, head back and smiling big with hands in fists

Motivation Matters: Give a Moose a Muffin

Sep 12, 2019
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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Motivation matters. It is the core of our personality that motivates us, and this shines through in several different ways depending upon our personality type. See how motivation manifests itself in teens with different types.

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young boy looking up with hands in thinking position over mouth

The “What If?” Game: Daydreaming the Future

Dec 10, 2019
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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Do you ever play the “What if” game? It may not be a real game, but we all probably play it everyday. Always living in the here and now is hard - our minds start wandering to what might be just around the corner. This People Stripes article explores how to deal with that in a family with those who prefer Intuition or Sensing.

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parents and two young sons at dining table with dad pointing to a chores chart

Calling All Members to a Family Meeting!

Feb 26, 2020
Mollie Allen, MEd
MOLLIE ALLEN, MEd, is a certified coach, teacher and consultant working with groups and individuals. With undergraduate degrees in Child Development and Special Education and a M.Ed. in Administration and Supervision she worked in schools and in private practice with students of all ages and levels for 25 years.
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Time for a big family decision? When there are many things to discuss, many people will be involved, everyone will have to adjust, and the resolution won't happen overnight. Everyone needs to be heard, so a family meeting is the way to go.

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young mother and young son going over homework at home

Pandemic - Online Learning Gone Viral

Apr 15, 2020
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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When everyone is home and expected to be productive, how do we account for differences in our preferences for working and learning? This People Stripes article explores how you can help the Introverts and Extraverts in your family.

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Career counselor explaining MBTI results to a student

Personality Type and What’s Next After High School?

Nov 17, 2020
Mollie Allen, MEd
MOLLIE ALLEN, MEd, is a certified coach, teacher and consultant working with groups and individuals. With undergraduate degrees in Child Development and Special Education and a M.Ed. in Administration and Supervision she worked in schools and in private practice with students of all ages and levels for 25 years.
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It’s that time of year, and in spite of the pandemic, planning for next year is under way. After sitting with counselors, mentors, and parents, exploring all sorts of colleges, universities, gap-year options or entering the military service, some high school seniors are beginning to make decisions.

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The Z Problem Solving Model

Family Holidays in the Time of COVID: Will We Celebrate Together?

Dec 22, 2020
Mollie Allen, MEd
MOLLIE ALLEN, MEd, is a certified coach, teacher and consultant working with groups and individuals. With undergraduate degrees in Child Development and Special Education and a M.Ed. in Administration and Supervision she worked in schools and in private practice with students of all ages and levels for 25 years.
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The holidays bring a big challenge to families who want to be together, especially in a pandemic. Fortunately we have a proven model for decision-making. The Zig Zag method walks us through Sending, Intuition, Thinking, and Feeling and helps us arrive at a decision that honors the facts and the people.

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mom with hands at temples, two children behind her having a pillow fight

Still Coping with Covid-19

Feb 17, 2021
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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Coping with Covid-19 continues to be a major challenge for families. In this People Stripes article Yvonne Nelson-Reid explores more type-based techniques for getting through these tough times.

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Extravert Learning Environment: Type Tip #10

If you ask an extravert to describe their ideal learning environment they typically have lots of things that make noise or stimulate like computers, friends, games, music, etc. However, when the task is mentally challenging the extravert REQUIRES quiet in order to concentrate. Every sound is a distraction from inner processing and an interruption to their thought flow. So students who may frequently study with groups, and with noise at certain times will need a quiet place to work.�

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girl in glasses with an I get it expression doing schoolwork at home in her pajamas

I am not stupid, after all! (From the Kids)

Sep 02, 2021
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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People tend to make inaccurate assumptions about themselves when faced with a problem to solve that requires them to go outside of their natural personality type. We can all use our opposite preferences when a situation requires it, however, it might feel awkward or uncomfortable, and we may be less effective in how we use them, leading to stress and a sense of personal failure. Children may experience this at a higher rate.

In this second article of "From the Kids" series, Yvonne Nelson-Reid chronicles a moment in her daughter's journey of understanding personality type differences and the compromises needed to succeed in school.

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Introversion or Just Shy? : Type Tip #12

There is a difference between the energy of introversion and shyness. Shyness is a social trait which causes a person to hesitate in social encounters. People who prefer Introversion only hesitate when the thought or situation is new. There is no hesitation with familiar settings. Also, introversion gives us a cue about how a person regains their energy. Shyness is a behavioral reaction. A person who prefers Extraversion may also be shy, gaining energy through interaction but hesitating in social situations.

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A schoolteacher sees new possibilities for assessing student learning.

New Possibilities for Teaching: Type in the Classroom (Research Series – NC Part 2)

Oct 04, 2021
Kesstan Blandin, PhD
KESSTAN BLANDIN, PhD is the Vice President of Research and Development at Myers & Briggs Foundation in Gainesville, FL, where she conducts research in Jungian typology and archetypes.
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This is the second article of a series on a large two-year study at Combs Magnet Elementary school in Raleigh, North Carolina, where the MMTIC® instrument and system was comprehensively incorporated into the school system.

In Combs-Part 2 we delve into the outcome of the teacher's training program that worked towards developing type awareness, understanding and connecting with their students, working as a team, and seeing new possibilities for assessing student learning.

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Teenagers navigating the complications of high school dating

He’s So Cute! Now What? (From the Kids)

Nov 03, 2021
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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Starting with an understanding of communication styles can make a difference in all our relationships.

In this third article of "From the Kids" Series, Yvonne Nelson-Reid discusses how understanding type differences can help teenagers navigate the complications of high school dating. Her teenage daughter describes the positive impact that learning about, and appreciating, communication style differences based on personality type, had on her own relationship.

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Feeling and Feedback: Type Tip #14

Young children with a Feeling preference may interpret a lack of feedback as being undervalued or disliked. It is not an issue of ego or self-esteem. Since the Feeling preference is typically about doing something for someone, they need assurance that what they did met the need. Parents with a Thinking preference may underestimate the importance of feedback to a child who prefers Feeling.

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Give the gift of type awareness. It can help you to spread peace, joy, and love this holiday season.

Happy Holiday Type Tips for All

Nov 29, 2022
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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Happy holidays from People Stripes! May these type tips be our gift to you, bringing you peace, joy, and love, with the hope of acceptance this holiday season.

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Students using their strengths and exercising their stretches to get along

Student Outcomes (Research Series – NC Part 3)

Jan 05, 2022
Kesstan Blandin, PhD
KESSTAN BLANDIN, PhD is the Vice President of Research and Development at Myers & Briggs Foundation in Gainesville, FL, where she conducts research in Jungian typology and archetypes.
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This is the third, and final article of the two-year study at Combs Elementary school in Raleigh, North Carolina, where the MMTIC® instrument and system was comprehensively incorporated into the school system. In this article Kesstan Blandin highlights the education the third-grade students received on decision-making using the psychological type Z-model, and student outcomes for the study.

The seven main student outcomes were: (1) developing type awareness, (2) enhancing their self-awareness, (3) advocating for their choices, (4) challenging themselves to improve their stretches, (5) improving classroom community, (6) enhancing their self-management, and (7) promoting motivation and engagement. Three of these outcomes are discussed in more detail.

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Thinking/Feeling - Both Decision Words: Type Tip #16

Those with a Thinking preference tend to hear the word "feel" as an emotion. Those with a Feeling preference hear that word as a decision, a choice. So, when I work with young children, I try to use a pair of words. Instead of saying "How do you feel about that?" I say, "What do you think or feel about that?" Children who prefer Thinking can latch onto the "think" word and children with a Feeling preference can latch onto the word "feel."

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Teens living their best life with a healthy sense of their own identity and respect for each other

Personality Type and Social Emotional Learning (SEL Series – Part 1)

Feb 01, 2022
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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Imagine a world with well-rounded, caring, emotionally aware, and capable people living their best life with a healthy sense of their own identity and respect for others. Isn't this what we all want? In this article, the first in a series, Yvonne Nelson-Reid explores the interrelationship between personality type and the Social Emotional Learning (SEL) movement, and how that connection can benefit the healthy development of youth and adults alike.

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5-Minute Warning: Type Tip #17

Use the "5-Minute Warning" to let a child know when closure to their task is imminent. "In five minutes, we will need to leave." Warning of the change in an activity is respectful to both the Judging (J) and Perceiving (P) preference. Those who prefer J are typically early starting and like to know what is coming next so they can formulate a plan. People who prefer P are often pressure-prompted and like to keep their options open, so advance notice reminds them to complete the task at hand. Time management for a J preference means following a schedule and reaching closure quickly, whereas, with a P preference, keeping options open until the last moment is optimal, producing their best work in those final minutes.

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Mother and daughter understanding the type differences of how they manage time

Personality Type and Social Emotional Learning: Self-Management (SEL Series – Part 3)

Apr 04, 2022
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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Personality type awareness offers a way to manage stress, be more comfortable with our stretches, and further develop our strengths. This month, in this third article of the SEL series, on the core competency Self-Management, Yvonne Nelson-Reid highlights how we can resolve the conflicts that arise when dealing with one another's opposite preferences, especially the Judging and Perceiving preference pair. Self-management, especially in stressful moments, becomes easier with an understanding of personality type.

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Teens can use the Z-model to make better decisions

Personality Type and Social Emotional Learning: Responsible Decision-Making (SEL Series – Part 4)

May 03, 2022
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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In this fourth article of the Social Emotional Learning (SEL) series, Yvonne Nelson-Reid presents how to approach the SEL core competency of Responsible Decision-Making by using the Zig-Zag Process™ (Z-model). The Z-model introduces a balanced method for decision-making by using all four mental processes of Sensing, Intuition, Thinking, and Feeling to allow for clearer perceptions and sounder judgments.

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Making a Choice: Type Tip #20

Give CHOICES, CHOICES, CHOICES. Every time a child makes an independent choice, they choose a way to process the options and make a selection. This action allows for type exploration and type development. Even infants and toddlers can make choices. With toddlers, instead of the command, "Sit here" say, "Which chair would you like to use?" We may not know the basis for the choice but reaching a decision would require taking in information and making a choice, resulting in personal development.

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Type and Decision-Making: Type Tip #21

Use the Z-model of decision-making with children just as you do with adults. Before bringing closure to a decision, they should answer four key questions.

  1. Do we have all the information we need? (Sensing)
  2. Should we consider other possibilities? (Intuition)
  3. Is this reasonable? Can we really do it? (Thinking)
  4. Is this important? Is it worth my time? (Feeling)

They may need help answering the questions but asking the questions prepares them to look at an issue from a variety of perspectives. These four questions are only an example. Many others could be used.


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A diverse group of students, working together, can develop empathy and appreciation for differences and similarities.

Personality Type and Social Emotional Learning: Social Awareness (SEL Series – Part 6)

Jul 05, 2022
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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In the sixth article of the series, Personality Type and Social Emotional Learning, Yvonne Nelson-Reid highlights how Social Awareness, along with an understanding and appreciation of type differences, can make way for the constructive use of these differences. Differences often drive us apart, but valuing these differences can unite us and instill greater compassion and empathy for others.

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Judging Preference Play-time: Type Tip #22

Young people who prefer Judging enjoy play and spontaneity so long as these activities do not distract them from finishing a task they are working to complete. They tend to hurry to finish homework right away not because they are more "responsible" but because they cannot relax and enjoy the play if there is work to be done. They say, "I do my homework right away so I can have more time to play."

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Siblings in conflict can use type awareness to navigate their differences and appreciate each other's natural type preferences

It is Okay to be Me! Navigating Sibling Conflict

Aug 30, 2022
Sandra Etherington
SANDRA ETHERINGTON is a mother of two and the host of the Family Personalities podcast, a show that helps break down personality type models so that we can use them in our everyday parenting. A UCLA alumna, with a background in mathematics, Sandra has a love of models that help us understand humans and our interactions with one another.
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This month’s article is by Sandra Etherington, a mother of two who is an MBTI® and MMTIC® certified professional. Sandra eloquently shares her own parenting experience dealing with her children and a conflict that arose between Thinking and Feeling preferences.

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PeopleStripes.org article

Trick or Treat : How Important are Holiday Traditions? (From the Kids)

Oct 04, 2022
Gracyn Nelson-Reid
GRACYN NELSON-REID is a senior at the University of Texas San Antonio. She is majoring in Biology and plans to attend graduate school in the field of Microbiology research. Gracyn has been immersed in personality type theory from the time she was born! Her mom is a certified MBTI® and MMTIC® professional who introduced type theory and type language to her children to help them understand and appreciate differences.
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We are excited to add a new article to our From the Kids series, because this time it is written by a kid! Please welcome Gracyn Nelson-Reid, a junior in university, who grew up in a home where personality type differences were understood and appreciated. She shares the value of family traditions during holidays and special events, like Halloween, as it relates to her personality type.

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Thinking Out Loud with Extraversion: Type Tip #25

Because people who prefer Extraversion tend to think "out loud" they sometimes say one thing but change direction quickly. A parent with a preference for Introversion might overreact to a comment too soon. When talking with a child who prefers Extraversion, if they express something that is perplexing, I usually ask first, "Is this a final thought or a thought still forming?" If it is a final thought, you can react. If it is a forming thought, you can wait for the final version before reacting.

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Shifting your perspective to see the gifts of a child's personality preference can help you find gratitude in moments of frustration.

Thanksgiving: Gratitude Through Type

Oct 31, 2022
Sandra Etherington
SANDRA ETHERINGTON is a mother of two and the host of the Family Personalities podcast, a show that helps break down personality type models so that we can use them in our everyday parenting. A UCLA alumna, with a background in mathematics, Sandra has a love of models that help us understand humans and our interactions with one another.
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What are your kids' personality preferences and have you ever found yourself frustrated by them? In this month's article, Sandra Etherington shares how to shift your perspective to discover reasons to be grateful for your child's individual personality preferences.

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"To Go" Mat: Type Tip #26

If you have a child with ESP (Extraversion, Sensing, Perceiving) preferences you may appreciate using a "To Go" mat. This type is energized by what is happening in the moment and can get so distracted by current events that they forget something you just gave them to hold such as a water bottle for the soccer game. Buy a carpet sample or a mat. Designate it as the "To Go" mat. When the child has something that will need to go with them in the car (e.g., book bag, water bottle, coat, homework) they take it immediately to the "To Go" mat and place it there. When they are ready to go to the car they stop and pick up the things that are on the "To Go" mat. It works much better than saying repeatedly, "I just gave it to you. Where did you put it?"

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Understanding personality differences can provide a framework for a better, more respectful relationship.

Love is in the Air: The Challenges and Gifts that Come with Personality Type Differences (From the Kids)

Jan 31, 2023
Gracyn Nelson-Reid
GRACYN NELSON-REID is a senior at the University of Texas San Antonio. She is majoring in Biology and plans to attend graduate school in the field of Microbiology research. Gracyn has been immersed in personality type theory from the time she was born! Her mom is a certified MBTI® and MMTIC® professional who introduced type theory and type language to her children to help them understand and appreciate differences.
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Gracyn Nelson-Reid, writing an article for the From the Kids series, tells us how her preference for ESFJ and her boyfriend's preference for INTP has caused numerous disagreements between them due to their complete opposite personality types. It hasn't been easy for them but understanding their personality type differences has provided a framework for better, more respectful communication.

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Homework Help: Type Tip #29

Homework management may be personality type related. A parent's timetable may be quite different from their child's. Young people with a Judging preference typically do their best work when they start early, setting a plan and working on a project in a scheduled way. Whereas young people who prefer Perceiving tend to do their best work when pressure-prompted, as the due date approaches. Depending on the child's and parent's preferences for Judging or Perceiving, homework management can be easy or exasperating! Supporting your child's natural style may mean learning to stretch your own. A young person with a Perceiving preference may need reminders when a due date is approaching, whereas a child with a Judging preference may need reminders to relax and have some fun. Reminders, not demands.

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Sisters celebrate May the Fourth with personality type awareness

May The Fourth Be With You! The Force May Not Just Be in a Galaxy Far, Far Away

May 01, 2023
Gracyn Nelson-Reid
GRACYN NELSON-REID is a senior at the University of Texas San Antonio. She is majoring in Biology and plans to attend graduate school in the field of Microbiology research. Gracyn has been immersed in personality type theory from the time she was born! Her mom is a certified MBTI® and MMTIC® professional who introduced type theory and type language to her children to help them understand and appreciate differences.
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May the fourth, popularly known as Stars Wars Day, is a day to think about the force within you. Gracyn Nelson-Reid celebrates this day with an article about the force (type awareness) within all of us that can be accessed every day. Everyone has the capability to access the “type” force and make the world a more understanding place. It starts with becoming aware of your personality type and what strengths and stretches you have.

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Personality type awareness helps mom understand her kids behavior when playing with the new puppy

Personality Preferences and Puppy Play!

Jul 31, 2023
Sandra Etherington
SANDRA ETHERINGTON is a mother of two and the host of the Family Personalities podcast, a show that helps break down personality type models so that we can use them in our everyday parenting. A UCLA alumna, with a background in mathematics, Sandra has a love of models that help us understand humans and our interactions with one another.
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Pets, personality type preferences, and high energy kids make a chaotic house for Sandra Etherington. Using her handy-dandy knowledge of typology, Sandra figures out how to how to change her kids behavior in order to improve their relationship with the new cute, cuddly puppy.

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Become an effective parent and strengthen your relationship with your children through type awareness

Parenting and Personality Type: The Myers-Briggs Company Podcast with Dr. Yvonne Nelson-Reid

Oct 03, 2023

People Stripes is proud to share The Myers-Briggs Company Podcast on parenting and personality type, featuring Dr. Yvonne Nelson-Reid, our in-house Type expert. In this episode, Dr. Nelson-Reid dives into the most commonly asked questions about personality type and parenting.

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Understanding personality type differences can help turn holiday chaos into holiday cheer

Happy Holiday Type Tips for All

Dec 05, 2023
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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Looking to foster holiday harmony? Take a peek at these type tips presented by Dr. Yvonne Nelson-Reid. And may your holidays be peaceful and fun!

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Type dynamics can affect how one naturally approaches the Z-Model.

Problem-Solving Model Using Personality Type (Part 2: The Z-Model Ideal vs Actual)

Sep 09, 2024
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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Using all the mental processes (Sensing, Intuition, Thinking, and Feeling) can lead to clearer perceptions, sounder judgments, and more effective problem-solving. In this second article of the Problem-Solving two-part series, Dr. Yvonne Nelson-Reid explains Gordon Lawrence’s Z-Model for problem-solving using MBTI® personality type, and each personality type's bias is considered.

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The Z-Model provides a solution to balanced and responsible decision-making.

Problem-Solving Model Using Personality Type (Part 1: The Z-Model)

Sep 05, 2024
Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD
YVONNE NELSON-REID, Ph.D., is the Vice President of Education and Programs at Myers & Briggs Foundation®️ (M&BF), the editor/lead writer for the People Stripes® website, a mother of 5, writer, teacher (BEd, MA), depth psychologist – Jungian and archetypal studies (MA, PhD), and career coach. Parenting, teaching in a classroom, or on the ice as a figure skating coach has taught her a great deal about relationships and the importance of communication.
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The four mental processes—Sensing, Intuition, Thinking, and Feeling—are used for taking in information and making decisions. We need all the processes for effective problem-solving. Most of us tend to lean on our natural strengths and neglect our stretches. For a balanced way to problem-solve, Yvonne Nelson-Reid, PhD, proposes the use of the Z-model. The Z-model is easy to use and directs one, using questions for guidance, through each of the four mental processes.

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